A Lost and Lonely Soul
by MaskedBeauty95
Summary: Join Jessie Jane, a lost soul in her journey in which she gains her freedom and also unexpectadly finds love, something she never intended to do.
1. Prolouge

**Epilouge**

You know I never wanted to fall in love. It was never the first thing on my list to do in my lifetime.

Most young girls in their single digits want to grow up and be a princess, meet prince charming and live happily ever after. I didn't. I wanted to be free and explore the entire world but my childhood would not allow me to do this. I had to take on responsibilities no child should, I had to take care of my adopted little sister from the age of eight when she was only a baby and I was still a child myself.

A long time before my nights of passion and long before I even met the guy I fell for, I hated the thought of marrying anyone. It's not surprising after the way my father treated me, and due to the way the two men who 'cared' for me acted. I was forced to do slave labour with poor pay and look after a baby when I still felt like one myself. The men were cruel. They said I should be thankful that I was in their care. Why should I have been thankful? They provided me shelter and that's all. I could never feel love for anyone other than my sister.

You know, love is a funny thing. I never felt the need to love anyone know one had ever shown love to me and I had no reason to love anybody. When my father gave me away and when those men took me into their care, I felt like I could never love a man. I hated them, I hated them all. I couldn't trust them, not after the three men I'd had in my life. I couldn't trust anyone. But yet, there was this one boy, a boy that was more of a man than I had ever met in my life even though he was not much older than me. He saved me and took me in his care. He made me feel welcome and special.

Love is weird really. One day you simply view the person as your friend, and then suddenly you try to deny all feelings for the person but love won't let you go, once you've been possessed.

My name is Jessie Jane, and this is my story.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – **

My story begins when I was very young. The memories are only brief, almost like dreams. I can picture them, but can't remember them clearly. My mother died two years ago, when I was four, not too sure what of, Father never told me. My grandmother Lilly looked after me more than my parents ever did. That's how I got my middle name, Jessie Lilly Jane. She would tell me such wonderful tales. She told me tales of the great West, Cowboys and Indians, horses roaming the prairie. They were all such wonderful tales. She told me some tales of romance but yet I was never really interested in them. I didn't mind some romance, like the Opera Ghost and Rusty the steam train, but others just bored me to tears. What sort of little girl was I? A girl who didn't like romance stories, of princesses marrying princes and living happily ever after in a beautiful castle looking across the sea. Father pitied me for not liking these tales, but Grandmother found it funny.

Father didn't like me. He hadn't ever liked me. I was a girl, he did not want a girl as his first born, and probably didn't want one at all. It was dishonourable for a man of his high profile to have a daughter. He was a famous boat inventor. Designed boats, sent the blueprints off so the boat could be crafted and once it was done he got all the money. We were rich. He always got me expensive dresses that seemed to be oversized for a girl of my size. I always protested against wearing the dresses when the maids tried to dress me. It would always make my father angry. 'Jessie!' He would bellow down the hallway when he heard my screams of protests. 'You better get that dress on or else you will see the side of me no person ever wants to see.' By this point he would be standing over me, his face as red as a tomato. I remember my body would quiver as he leant over me; I was so scared of him. His fat ugly stomach would push down on me while he face was so close to mine I could feel the heat of his anger.

My Mother of Grandmother would always have to come in and dress me. By this point Father would have left and I would be crying. My Mother, when she was still alive didn't really comfort me, she would just tell me to grow up. Grandmother, however, would comfort me. She would cheer me up by telling me a little story.

When Mother died, Father didn't really care. He just came in my room one day and said 'Jessie, sadly you Mother has passed away. The funeral shall be held next week and then no more will be said.'  
I didn't know how to respond to him. I just stood holding my toys in utter shock. I was only four. My Father had so brutally told me that she had died and that after her funeral we do not speak of her. What kind of a monster would do that? I cried the whole way through her funeral. Grandmother shed some tears while Father just stood with his normal face like thunder.

I cried for a few days after the funeral. Each time I cried Father would get angry at me. His eyes would bulge out their sockets, while his face changed from white to red. This made me cry even more because I was scared. Grandmother would always come and save me from his anger. She would intersect his path before he could hurt me. I would cry in her shoulders every night before I fell asleep. As the weeks went by, my tears gradually stopped and I went back to normal.

It was the month of July, August 18th 1870, the day that my life changed forever. I was five now. It was had been my birthday a few weeks ago, I'd got some new dresses and toys. The dresses were horrid but I didn't mind my toys. I was sat on the floor playing with my horse figures when there was a soft knock on door. My Grandmother came in, she was still the same lady but yet she seemed distant and her face was ever so sad. Never had I seen her look like it before, not even at my Mother's funeral.

She was cradling a package with brown paper and string for a ribbon. I dropped all my toys and held out my arms to her and smiled, 'Grandmother.' I expected her to pick me up; however she went over to the rocking chair in my room and sat down. 'Jessie, come here.' She said sadly.  
I looked at her in a rather confused manner but did as I was told. I went over to her and she put me on her lap.  
'This is for you my sweetheart.' She said handing me the parcel.  
I smiled and took the package. I ripped it open and the contents of a box and doll fell out. I picked up the doll and smiled. 'Oh Grandmother, is this me as a cowgirl?' I questioned.

The doll had red hair braided up with a yellow bow. It had little brown boots and cow chap trousers at the front, while the top was white with a yellow material across the breast with a little rope pattern. A red hat sat on the cowgirls head, and her eyes were green, just like mine and she was smiling.

My Grandmother nodded at me and gave me a weak smile.  
'Oh thank you so much, I love it!' I beamed down at the doll, not too sure why my Grandmother seemed so sad. I placed the doll on my lap and picked up the brown box that fell out. I opened it and inside was a golden chain with an oval pendant.  
My Grandmother reached forward and unclipped the pendant. Inside was a picture of me and my Grandmother when I was three.  
'Oh Grandmother, I love my gifts. Thank you so much!' I flung my arms around her and hugged her tightly.  
Instead of speaking, she merely hugged me tightly in response. I wondered why she was acting like this; usually she would be telling me a tale, a tale that would always make me smile. I was soon to find out what was wrong with her.

'Now, let me put this on you.' She said with a weak smile. Placing the chain round my neck, she smiled at me and then cupped her hands around my cheeks. 'Jessie, no matter where I go, and no matter where you go, I will always love you and I hope you know that. I will forever be in your heart and you will forever be in mine.' A single tear escaped her eye as she smiled down at me, her glasses steaming up a little.  
I smiled at her, unaware of the dark reason as to why she had said this to me. 'And I love you too Grandmother, we will always be together.'  
She pulled me into another hug which I gladly returned.

My bedroom door creaked open and my Father came in holding a brown bag. 'Mother, get Jessie ready, its time.'  
'Time for what?' I smiled at him, probably something exciting I thought.  
My Grandmother let out a quiet sob and set me down. 'Come on sweetheart, let's get you dressed.'  
My Father watched as she walked over to the wardrobe and left as she was finding things for me to wear. I could hear her quietly sniffing as she found my outfit. I wondered what was wrong with her, probably thinking of my mother; that often upset her. She pulled out a puffy white dress with netting like fabric over the top and a pink bow around the waist. Father left once I saw what she had found for me.

She sorted me out into my underwear, the usual vest and bloomers, and then placed the dress over my head. Once it was on, she tied up the pink ribbon and straightened the dress out.  
I walked over to my full sized mirror and looked at myself. 'I look like a cloud.' I whined while she was picking out some shoes for me.  
'You look lovely sweetheart.' She said sadly.  
I didn't suit big puffy dresses. I preferred the smaller ones that didn't flap around and get stuck under you if you walked.

Walking over to me, she asked me to sit on the rocking chair which I did. She placed two white shoes on my feet which had small heels and a little bow on the tongue of each one. I watched her as she put my shoes on. I watched her with wary eyes, I could not figure out what was wrong with her.  
'Let me brush your hair now.' She said holding my hand.  
I jumped off the seat and went to my dressing table where I sat on my stall. She picked up a comb and started doing my hair until all the knots and crinkles had gone.  
'Now, stand in front of me. I want to see how you look.'  
I jumped off the stall and stood so she could see me with a smile on my face.  
'You look beautiful my dear, your smile lights up my whole world.'

My Father came back in my room, this time holding a smaller brown bag. My Grandmother glared at him. She picked up the doll that I'd left on the rocking chair and walked over to him.  
'I hope this makes you very happy.' She hissed at him placing the doll in the bag.  
He just stared at her and said 'The book you wanted to put in here is inside.'  
My Grandmother pulled the bag open to look for the book. I didn't know what they were on about but it was obviously in there because my Grandmother didn't respond to him.

'Jessie, say goodbye to your Grandmother.' Father said.  
'Why?' I questioned as Grandmother walked over to me.  
'No questions.' He said in a husky voice.  
This time tears streamed down my Grandmothers face, I wanted to ask why but I couldn't disobey my Father. She bent down and hugged me tightly, in which I tightly hugged back.  
'Remember Jessie, I will always, always love you.'  
'I will always love you Grandmother.' I replied.

She pulled away and kissed my cheek while my Father just stood and watched.  
'Come on Jessie.' He said holding out his hand.  
I smiled at my Grandmother before taking my Fathers hand. He guided me out the door and shut it behind us.  
I could hear my Grandmothers sobs, they were louder now.

We started to walk down the corridor.  
'Where are we going?' I said looking up at my Father.  
'Oh, just somewhere.'

**A/N - well, here is my new story! I hope you will all like it! I should have waited till Follow Your Heart was done, but that won't be for a while...ehehehehe. I couldn't wait to write this. I have so many ideas but needed to get this one down.**

**Sorry for it being depressing. What do you think of it in first person? I think I am doing alright for someone who hates writing in first person! Tell me what you think!**

**I do not own the original Toy Story characters, Disney Pixar do.**

**Over and out!**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N - Hi everyone! Sorry its been so long! I've been busy with my exams and last week I was on holiday. My exams are all over now hooray! And my holiday was great! Here is the next chapter. Enjoy**

**Chapter 2 –**

We journeyed outside without saying a word. There was a white carriage waiting for us outside which was to be pulled by a white stallion that was incredibly tall. The footman sat at the front reading a paper, he was obviously passing time while he waited for us.  
'Alright Bart.' He said in a muffled voice to my Father.  
'Yes thanks Sid.' My Father bluntly replied. 'Jessie get in the carriage.' He said opening the door.  
'Okay.' I smiled to him.

I entered the carriage. The big brown bag my Father had been holding previously was on the rear left hand side. I climbed over the seat and sat next to it.  
'You know where to go.' I heard my Father say to Sid.  
'Righty'o.' He said in response.  
My Father climbed into the carriage and sat next to me. He leaned over to the side and slammed the door shut. A whipping sound came from outside and the stallion let out a cry of pain as the carriage slowly began to rock from side to side.

'Where are we going?' I said smiling at my Father.  
'I'm taking you to a special place.' He said in response.  
'What's it called?'  
'It doesn't matter what it's called.'  
'What's in the bag?' I said gesturing to the brown bag on my left.  
'Clothes.'  
'For what?' I smiled  
'No more questions Jessie. Too many questions sharpen the mind.' It was clear he was getting annoyed at me.  
I let out a sigh of defeat, 'Okay.'

The journey went in silence at first, the only sound to be heard was the stones rustling under the carriage and the hooves of the horse. I eventually broke the silence. 'Father, my I have my doll from the bag?'  
My Father looked down at me as if I was crazy. 'Yes, of course.' He said reaching into the bag and handing me my doll.  
'Thank you!' I said whilst beaming down at my doll. It really did look like me, red hair, green eyes, only thing wrong with it was the outfit. I would never be allowed to wear a shirt, trousers and a cowgirl hat, Father would greatly disapprove. I started to play with my doll and make her dance on my lap. Father once again looked at me as if I was crazy and gave the doll a disapproving look.  
'Do you like her?' I smiled holding up my doll.  
'Your Grandmother shouldn't give you things with you dressed in male clothing.' He said in disgust.  
'I like her, she is pretty and the outfit is nice. Better than my dresses.' I said looking at her.  
My Father rolled his eyes, 'Jessie you should appreciate your dresses. A young lady should not wish to wear men's clothes.'  
'They look nicer and seem comfy.' I mumbled to myself so my Father didn't hear.

More time passed and I grew bored. I leant on my bag and pulled the curtain back to peak out the window. The sky wasn't a very nice colour. It was a murky grey with clouds threatening to drop rain down upon the earth at any minute. "There won't be a thunder storm will there?" I said looking up at my Father with worried eyes. I hated thunder storms, they scared me, a lot.  
"Shouldn't be, but if there is a bit of thunder never hurt anyone."  
I turned back to look out the window again. In the distance, I could see a small town. "Oh, is that where we are going?" I said pointing out the window.  
"If it's a town, then yes."  
"It looks so pretty." I said with a smile as I looked out the window and rested my chin in my hands.  
"Jessie, come and sit back down, have a little sleep."  
I sighed and took one last glance at the town before sitting back next to my Father.  
"Go on, sleep, it's going to be a long day." He said gesturing for me to rest my head on him.  
I let out a yawn and stretched. Picking up my cowgirl doll, I hugged her tightly and rested my head on my Father's lap and gradually drifted off to sleep.

**A/N - I hope this is the right chapter. Just now I put the wrong one up so I've confused myself a bit. Well I hope this is right XD I have doubled checked. Enjoy!**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N - you may be surprised hehe**

**Chapter 3 – **

"Woah." I heard Sid say from outside the carriage which caused me to abruptly sit up in shock.  
"It's okay Jessie; we are at the town now. It was just Sid stopping the carriage." My Father said to me.  
I looked up at him, I wasn't entirely sure where I was or who I was. I rubbed my eyes and looked around again and then I remembered. "Are we at the town?" I smiled up at my Father.  
He nodded at me and handed me my doll that was resting on his lap.  
I took it off him and let out a squeal, "This will be fun."

There was a knock on the door and my Father drew the curtain back. Sid was outside, with an evil smile plastered on his face revealing his gravestone teeth. His spotty face and arched eyebrows looked horrid as usual. Sid always had scared me. He was seventeen and one of my Father's favourite people. He once told me that if I didn't wear the dresses my Father bought me, he would sew one onto me which would stay on forever. He was a nasty piece of work.  
"I can't get down the lane the place is, all you need to do is walk down there and you can rid of –" Sid was cut off by my Father, "Yes, I know how to get there."  
Sid looked at me and gave me a hellish smile. My face must have shown true fear because he let out an evil laugh before he left.

"I don't like him, he is mean." I said holding my doll tighter to my chest.  
"He isn't mean Jessie. He is just doing his job as the coach driver." Father said.  
"He is still mean!" I said in protest.  
Father ignored me and opened the carriage door. He stepped out and stretched. The weather hadn't improved much from what I could tell. "Come on Jessie." He said standing by the door.  
I held onto my doll and crawled across the seat before jumping out.  
"Why must you insist on jumping out? You'll ruin your dress."  
"Because it's easier than stepping. And I don't care for my dress." I said.  
"You are very ungrateful Jessie, be thankful I spend so much on you."  
I ignored him and looked at my doll.  
"Wait here, I'm going to talk to Sid." My Father walked off to the front of the carriage.

I was happy he was gone. I saw him and Sid talking at the front of the carriage so I took the opportunity to admire my surroundings. The sky was bleak grey with no sunlight to brighten anywhere up. The streets were cobbled and filled with people rushing here and there. There were posh people, poor people, commoners and cow folk. A dark street loomed not too far away from me. It seemed darker than my surroundings and a shabby work building stood at the end of it. It looked to me like a very unpleasant place.

Sid and Father were still talking; surly they wouldn't notice me looking round the other side of the carriage. I ceased the opportunity to peak around. I could see more people of different colours, shapes and sizes. I held my doll by my side and smiled at all the people as they scuttled past. I looked to my right when I felt something hit at my side. I had a look to see what had hit me and it was a red ball. I looked down at it in confusemeant. '_Why did a random ball hit me?_' I thought. I looked back up to see a Border collie running towards me. I wasn't scared; I love critters, well animals. Father doesn't like me calling them critters, I sound too Western apparently. The dog jumped at me and licked my face. I laughed and pushed the silly dog away from me. "Hey there doggy," I smiled "who is your owner?"

"Jacob!" I heard someone shout. With that, a young boy cam running in my direction, he was not much older than me. He had brown hair and brown eyes and was wearing a little cowboy hat upon his head. He had a longish  
nose and was relatively tall, but everyone seemed tall to me.  
"I am so sorry about that Miss." He said looking at me in shock. "I didn't mean to throw it so it would hit you and I didn't mean for Jacob to jump at you."  
"Its fine." I said smiling at him, "I love animals."  
The boy smiled at me before picking up the ball, "I'll see you around." He said with a tilt of the hat. "Come on Jacob." He said gesturing the dog after him as he ran off. Jacob hastily ran after him and before I knew it they were long gone.  
_'My first friend._' I thought with a smile.

**A/N - Were you surprised with the little boy at all? **

**Over and out**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N - Hi everyone, hope you're all okay. Saw Blood Brothers last Tuesday, if I told you already I'll tell you again but if I haven't...IT WAS AMAZING AND I CRIED!  
Here is my next chapter for this story WOO-H...Well not really woo-hoo, it's not a very woo-hoo chapter and I' won't say anymore on that matter. I have got a little thing I want you to read at the end regarding Follow Your Heart and an upcoming story. Hope you enjoy!**

**I don't own the original Toy Story characters, Disney Pixar do.**

**Chapter 4 –**

I stood smiling to myself over my new 'friend' while all the people scurried by. I looked down at my doll and smiled. Some people stared at me and mumbled before carrying out their business. I think it was because of my dress. I'd heard some people comment on it. It was a ridiculous dress.

"Jessie?" I heard my Father say loudly.  
I turned around to see him walking around the carriage. "Goodness girl, I thought I told you to wait where you were?!" He bent down and picked me up.  
"I didn't go far. All I wanted to do was see the people." I said with a sad tone.  
"You should have stayed where you were, you could have been taken." He said going back towards Sid.  
"I thought that's what you wan-" Sid started but Father glared at him which made him stop talking.  
My Father placed me down and picked up my bag of clothes.  
"I made a new friend." I smiled as I placed my doll in my brown bag.  
Father looked at me horror-struck, "What?"  
"I said I made a new friend. His dog jumped at me and he apologised. He is my new friend."  
Sid burst out laughing, "Oh sweet Jessie, you know nothing of the world." He put his hand on my head and rustled my hair.  
I pushed his hand away and looked down. I hated Sid even more now.  
"She's just a kid. Leave her to her fantasy." Father said taking my hand.  
I frowned, they didn't believe I had a new friend, and Sid was just plain rude about the whole thing.

"Have you got all your stuff?" Father said looking down at me.  
I nodded my head at him.  
"Alright. See you in a bit Sid." Father started to walk forward pulling me along with him.  
I looked behind at the horse cart and then at Sid.  
He gave me and evil smile and waved, "See ya later squirt."  
I turned back around and shuddered.

It occurred to me suddenly where we were heading. Father was taking us down the dark lane where the horrid looking workshop was.  
My body went tense and I looked at my Father, "Why are we going down here?"  
"Because I am seeing some friends." He responded with no emotion.  
I looked back at the building. The sound of crashing and banging could be heard accompanied by shouting and angry voices. I moved closer to my Father out of fear.

We soon reached the door which was on the jar.  
"Oh ya blazing idiot! What did ya do that for?!" An angry gruff voice shouted from inside.  
"I didn't mean to ya fat useless prat!" A less gruff, but still angry voice shouted.  
My Father let out a sigh of despair and pushed the door open.

I went behind him and peaked around his leg. It was a workshop. A horrible workshop. Tools were stacked on shelves and hung upon the walls, some were rusty and some were dirty. Either way, they still looked threatening. Boxes were piled high in almost every part of the room. A desk stacked with papers was at the rear of the room with two grubby seats. Some cabinets filled with God knows what was next to it. There were some doors leading to different areas and only one grubby window letting in a dim amount of daylight. A work desk was in the middle of the room with some rusty mechanical equipment and some broken wood.

I peaked around a bit further. Although I was scared I wanted to get a better view. Behind the work desk in the middle was an extremely fat man. He had grey hair and a grey beard and was wearing a dark, grubby pink top with blue dungarees. He was fiddling around with some bits on the desk but stopped when he saw the figure of my Father in the doorway.

"Well ain't you a sight for sore eyes." He gave my Father a snide smile.  
"And I could say the same about you Mr Huggin." My Father smiled back.  
I was still hiding behind my Father but I could see that Mr Huggin picked up a brown walking stick and was hobbling his way around the desk to get to us.  
When he was round he looked at me and smiled revealing his brown stained teeth. "Well if it ain't little Jessie."  
I hid further behind my Fathers leg, hoping he wouldn't see me. Mr Huggin laughed about it.  
"How's the boy?" My Father asked him.  
"He's alright. Nine now." Mr Huggin said.  
"And what about your assistant Twitch?"  
"A bumbling fool, as usual." He grumbled.

A silence passed between them before Mr Huggin spoke again. "You got everything for her?" I had peaked out from my Father's leg again and could see him gesturing at me.  
"Yeah. All the clothes are in here." Father said.  
"And what about the brown bag round'er?"  
"Let her keep it, it's got some stuff in."  
"Alright, I'll let her keep the stuff in it." Mr Huggin said nodding his head.

I didn't know what they were talking about. Why were they on about my clothes and my brown bag? "How's Betty?" Mr Huggin asked.  
My Father stiffened, it was like a topic he didn't want to talk about.  
"Who is Betty?" I questioned moving out from behind him.  
"Just someone." He said to me. He looked back at Mr Huggin and mumbled in hope I wouldn't hear but I did, "Triplets on the way."  
"Bloody hell! Well you best be going to check on her." Mr Huggin said in shock.  
"Yeah, I know."

I was still ever so confused. I had no idea why I was here, or where I was for that matter. I had no idea who Mr Huggin, Twitch and some nine year old was. And I had no clue what so ever about Betty and what triplets on the way meant.  
My Father placed my bag of clothes on the floor and bent down to my height. I stared at him in confusemeant. He gave me a pat on the cheek.  
"Behave for Mr Huggin." Father said to me.  
"...okay..." I said in confusemeant.  
He stood back up and looked at Mr Huggin, "let her keep the bag."  
Mr Huggin nodded, "I am a man of me words." He said as he headed over to me. He took my tiny hand in his big fat greasy hand and nodded at my Father.  
"Wait here a minute." Father said walking out the door.

I watched my Father head back the way we came. He reached the carriage and opened the door.  
"What's Father forgotten?" I asked Mr Huggin.  
"Oh nothing."  
I looked up at him in a confused manner before looking back at the carriage. I saw my Father look before he stepped in and shut the door.  
My eyes went wide in horror, surly he wasn't leaving me.  
The carriage jolted a bit and then started to move.

"Father." I said quietly before shouting, "FATHER!" My shouts soon turned into screams as I watched the carriage disappear from my site. I tried to pull out of Mr Huggins grip but he was too strong for me. His hand gripped around mine like a clamp.  
Mr Huggin went forward and shut the door. I ran to it and tried to open it but the handle was too high for me to reach.  
"You're Father is gone." He said bluntly looking down at me.  
I fell to the floor and started to cry. My Father had left me. For good.

**A/N - See what I mean? Not exactly woo-hoo is it? I hope you somewhat enjoyed it despite the sadness within it.**

**Now then, regarding Follow Your Heart**** - ****_I haven't abandoned the story I just haven't added anything to it yet. There are reasons for this. One is because I have had my exams and been on holiday. Two I have been working on other stories. Three...I may have forgotten a lot of previous bits that have happened in the story...hehe. I haven't touched it for so long that I have forgotten most of it. I'm going to have to read through it again to refresh my mind. And also, I have some changes to make to it because I've changed some characters and kids around. *hits head on desk* I am a moron I know. I will read it...when I can be bothered. I still have school work and other things to do but I will read it and correct it and then add more. I have chapters I could upload but I need to read them. Might treat you one day. But yeah, its not abandoned so don't think it is lol_**

**New story -****_Well um, I have an upcoming story because I'm a pain in the arse and can't ever keep to one big story without doing another one *smiles innocently*. I am a pain to myself wanting to do other stories but once I get the idea in my head I can't not write it. I am not telling you a title, nor what it is about. Keep an eye on my deviant art for a tagline for it though. No more shall be said. The only thing you will know is that its the Toy Story characters._**

**Over and out!**


End file.
